From One Healer to Another:  33 Suggestions for Social and Emotional Well-Being

post by Michele Fowkes, Associate member of The Educator Collaborative

From One Healer to Another:  33 Suggestions for Social and Emotional Well-Being

As an English teacher, I rarely see my life in numbers.  During the pandemic though, I have taken up a few interests that have surprised me.  One includes numerology.  Yes, that’s right, the study of the numerical value of letters in words, particularly in names.  I can just picture Professor Trelawney staring up at me with her magnified eyes and smiling with pride at my dabble in the divinatory arts.

One particular discovery resonated for me:  my soul number is 33.  I know all about the power of suggestion.  Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but see myself reflected in the description that accompanied 33 on The Soul Urge Number by Felicia Bender.  Call to teach.  Nurture. Bring love to the world. Intense emotions.  Helping.  Avoid destructive tendencies.  Serve as a conduit to healing.  

Ah, healing!

Indeed, one of my priorities during this year of pivots has, in fact, been healing.  I have been focused on social and emotional well-being.  And, no, self care is not selfish. Dr Dana Stachowiak emphasized this point at The Educator Collaborative’s Thursday night in-house Think Tank session earlier this month. There is no way to be a healer for others if you do not focus on your own health. 

And, right now, we all need to heal.  COVID-19 has united us in one tragic way: we are all suffering from trauma, to some degree (although for our Black, Indigenous, and colleagues/students of color, this trauma is inarguably heightened).  Even before the pandemic, trauma-informed strategies were worthwhile whole-school practices, as educator and writer Alex Shevrin Venet notes in the Edutopia article Trauma-Informed Practices Benefit All Students.

Now, these strategies are beyond critical.

But–are we doing enough to address this trauma in our school settings?  Are we doing enough in our school settings to focus on social and emotional well-being?  

Like a true 33, I have been compelled to nurture.  As a curriculum supervisor for humanities, I am no longer in a classroom of my own though.  What could I do?  

For the 20-21 school year, I chose to focus on the staff in our district.  At the beginning of the year, all district employees were encouraged to sign up for a “pause” campaign.  With the help of my fellow STEM curriculum supervisor, I send out, each Monday, a Weekly Pause for SEL mailing.  Each week, we explore Social Emotional Learning (SEL) strategies and Trauma Informed (TI) Practices in a newsletter of three columns — there is always something to watch/listen, something to read, and something to do.

At least once a month or so, I receive an email like the one below.  

Just want to share that I did the positivity activity today in the “Do” column and it went really well.  I explained negativity bias, habituation, the 3-1 positive to negative ratio and shared my good news.  Then I gave students the opportunity to share good news in the chat if they would like.  They could share it with me or everyone (or not share at all.)  Most students participated and it went really well.  In fact, someone put the good news that their birthday was coming up.  A bunch of students then put happy birthday in the chat.  Another student spoke for the first time in a long time and shared how this year has been tough for her.  Long story short, it went awesome.  Thanks!  Thanks for all you do and for sharing these ideas with us weekly.

Emails, like this one, make me realize the importance of my position — how what I share ripples out from staff to students.  

To multiply this ripple effect, I’d like to share with you 33 (you know why) suggestions for continuing to make social and emotional well-being a priority in 2021.

1. Breathe in and out slowly.  (Search for a breathing exercise, like box breathing, if you need assistance.)
2. Get lost in a story — it can be a novel, a picture book, a movie, or even a TV show.
3. Write a handwritten note to someone who is helping you get through this school year.
4. Talk to another adult about SEL.  Maybe you will find someone to be in your SEL Squad.
5. Sip a cup of your favorite hot beverage — coffee, tea, or cocoa.
6. Look away from the screen.  Blink.  A lot.
7. Grab a coloring book.  Color a picture!
8. Try a seated cat and cow yoga pose.  Seated exercises can be found online if you need guidance.
9. Listen to your favorite song or album.
10. Doodle.
11. Go outside.  Walk.  Or simply breath in some fresh air!
12. Give yourself a big hug. You deserve it. 
13. Drink more water.
14. Nap!
15. Reach out to someone you typically do not talk to and ask how his/her year is going.
16. Write down three things that you are grateful for.
17. Buy some Play-Doh. Create.
18. Try the grounding technique, 5-4-3-2-1.  That means noticing five things you can see, four  things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
19. Search for ambient sounds and play them in the background.
20. Clench your hands into fists.  Then release the tension.  Repeat.
21. Explore how you are feeling in a journal entry.
22. Take a hot shower or bath.
23. Dance!  (No one is watching.)
24. Look up some jokes and try to make someone you love laugh.
25. Stretch.  Hold each stretch for 30 seconds.
26. Find a live concert.  Listen.  Enjoy.
27. Treat yourself to a food item or drink that you do not typically have.  (Maybe it will even be a healthy one!)
28. Call or text someone you haven’t spoken to lately.
29. Choose a word to guide you today.  Write it down.  Keep it visible.
30. Set a timer for movement breaks.
31. Get a massage or give yourself one.
32. Recall one thing that did not go well today.  Give yourself grace.
33. Find a sleep meditation for a better night’s sleep.

I hope you choose a suggestion and do it.  Practice self-care.  Always.  Especially right now.  COVID-19 demands for us all to focus on healing.  This is a moment that demands a movement.  Those of us in education can be that movement.  

We can lead the way by engaging in conversations about trauma in our school spaces–and how institutionalized oppression, both in and out of schools, contributes to this– if they are not already happening.  We can lead the way by embedding social and emotional learning into our daily teaching and by not treating SEL like an add-on or a “soft” skill.  And we can lead the way by addressing our own trauma and putting on our oxygen masks so that we can continue to be healers along this journey to somewhere better.

Together, we will get there.